DARK ANGEL (aka I COME IN PEACE) (1990) Blu-ray Review
Dark Angel (aka I Come In Peace) (1990) d. Baxley, Craig R. (USA)
While I distinctly remember the trailer for the bombastic '80s sci-fi actioneer I Come in Peace (released in 1990, but like that year’s other big-bam-boom-blammo alien assassin flick, Predator 2, this one screams the prior decade), I elected to pass on it both during its brief theatrical run nor did it ever make the final cut when dragging armloads of video rentals to the checkout counter. While I enjoyed the concept of an unfriendly E.T. having learned just enough English to catch his quarry off guard, it wasn’t enough to push me over the cliff. Chalk it up to the fact that I was still waist-deep in catching-up mode during the VHS boom, and well, headliner Dolph Lundgren wasn’t exactly someone whose filmography piqued much interest. Time passed, and in all that time, no one had ever come along to insist I had missed out on some kind of overlooked gem, so I continued to ignore it.
Well, someone among the good people at Shout! Factory apparently begged to differ; since those kids know their stuff, I took their recent decision to release the film to Blu-ray under its international Dark Angel moniker (although the film still carries its U.S. name on the title card) as a bona-fide recommendation. With the sweet smell of nostalgia for a simpler time perfuming the proceedings, the 91 minutes spent watching Dolph and co-star Brian Benben match wits and quips with giant beefy aliens sporting WWF hair and razor blade CD projectiles go down mighty easy. Stunt coordinator extraordinaire Craig R. Baxley, with numerous A-Team episodes and the Carl Weathers vehicle Action Jackson on his directorial C.V. to that point, saddles up to take viewers on a wild, breezy, nonsensical ride that remains the same enjoyably enthusiastic fare it likely always was.
Amidst the plethora of action clichés, there is the appreciably inspired notion of alien drug runner Matthias Hues coming down to Earth and robbing the local greasy hood of his latest heroin shipment, using the drug to create a high concentration of endorphins in his human incubators, then extracting them from their pituitary glands via a menacing wrist spike. Apparently on this galactic scumbag’s home joint, human endorphins are the fo-shizzle commanding top dollar (or whatever rate of exchange they use on Wrestlematon) and Hues is here to harvest the latest bumper crop of “Barcy.” Of course, this kinda chicanery ain’t flying with tough rebel cop Lundgren, whose latest sting operation – targeting the same greasy hood – has just gone down the toilet. This recent foul-up brings in buttoned down FBI agent Benben, as much a cliché in his tightassedness as Dolph with his blunt macho posturing; naturally the two end up playing out two episodes of The Bickersons before earning each other’s mutual respect for the final united front.
These established conventions of 80s excess – slick suits, slicker hair, skinny ties, muscular brutes, huge bags of drugs and even bigger explosions – were the likely the very elements that earned the flick its lukewarm reviews two decades prior. But with time, the cartoony nature serves the fantastical premise and narrative especially well. (The scene where Lundgren sets off a row of car alarms in order to create a distraction, sending a lobby full of yuppie businessmen scurrying out into the streets, is likely even funnier now than it was at the time.) To further seal the deal, we have Jan Hammer’s synthy music score and the requisite craptastic pop tune (“Touch Me Tonight by Shooting Star) over the final credits. Finally, ubiquitous ’80s character actor Albert Leong (you know, the balding Asian guy with the stringy mullet and Fu Manchu mustache from Lethal Weapon and Die Hard) makes a brief appearance as the “Luggage Dealer.”
A number of reviews have called Dark Angel Lundgren’s finest performance; not being a true connoisseur of the 6’5 Swede’s thesping efforts, I can neither confirm nor deny this. What I can say is that he throws several impressive spin kicks, delivers his one-liners with seasoned offhandedness and often brings to mind the laconic masculinity of Chuck Connors. Benben is saddled with the unenviable gig of supercilious comic foil, but the Dream On and Private Practice TV vet manages to generate some genuine chemistry with his towering co-star. I’m also a fan of No Retreat, No Surrender 2’s Hues’ physical presence as the giant alien (with former college basketball star and current ESPN correspondent Jay Bilas as the extraterrestrial DEA agent on his trail). I do wish more had been made of Hues’ ironic “I come in peace” killer catchphrase – nothing is really done with it except provide Lundgren with a classic rejoinder in the final showdown. Not only do we never find out which alien dictionary he learned it from, he never even uses it in a disarming fashion – it’s usually delivered after Hues has already laid his victim out and in the process of finishing them off.
Technically, the explosive action sequences are smartly staged by Baxley, the highlight of which is probably the zippy vignette in which the inexplicably automotively inclined alien gives chase to the mismatched law enforcement pair (elevated by the novel twist of the bad guy commandeering a black and white to pursue our heroes in their unmarked station wagon). Veteran Tony Gardner is credited with special effects makeup work alongside Larry Hamlin (Sundown: The Vampire in Retreat), dishing up Hues’ and Bilas’ opaque contact lenses, several snazzy throat slashes and gooey alien splatter for good measure. It’s worth mentioning that the “harvesting” scenes where Hues first injects his human hosts with heroin and then sucks out their precious bodily fluids are cool the first time, then increasingly tedious since they are staged in nearly identical fashion. (A different camera angle might have gone a long way in these cases.)
Shout! Factory has delivered another gorgeous 1080p widescreen presentation, with 5.1 DTW-HD or 2.0 DTS-HD audio options. Along with the original trailer and a poster and still gallery, we are treated to a brand new 25-minute retrospective, “A Look Back at Dark Angel,” that reunites Baxley, Lundgren and Benben for a talking head mutual admiration society. Much of the emphasis falls on how much Baxley and his estimable stunt team (which includes numerous family members) were able to pull off in-camera on their limited $7 million budget – watching all the fireballs occur with actors in frame, one truly appreciates the skills of a bygone era.
One of the most interesting factoids to arise (one that has even eluded the IMDb credits gods) is that co-writer Leonard Maas, Jr. (credited for the script with Jonathan Tydor) is revealed to be a pseudonym for successful Hollywood scribe David Koepp (Jurassic Park, Mission: Impossible, Spider-Man) – who knew?
Dark Angel is available now for pre-order from Shout! Factory, releasing on August 27, 2013
http://www.shoutfactory.com/?q=node/217661
--Aaron Christensen, HorrorHound Magazine
HMAD Screening: Nightmare On Elm St 4
UPDATE: Tickets are almost gone! We sold out of the initial batch, and have released a few more - these might be it! Don't miss out!
First off, HUGE thanks to everyone who came out for last month's HMAD screening of Friday the 13th Part VII! It was one of the biggest turnouts I've ever had for one of my shows, which made me (and the theater!) very happy. And a special thanks to editor Barry Zetlin who came out to talk about the film's infamous battles with the MPAA ("The NO Blood" should be the subtitle). The print was also better than expected, and a guy dressed in pretty terrific Jason costume (same design as the film) took pics with the crowd after, so all in all it was a pretty great time.
And I suspect this month's show will be even better! Just like Friday 7, Renny Harlin's Nightmare On Elm St Part 4: The Dream Master is celebrating its 25th birthday this month, almost to the very day of the showing! On Saturday, August 17th at 11:59pm, I'll be hosting a very rare 35mm screening of the film, which remains (and probably always WILL remain) the biggest ticket seller of Freddy's solo adventures (his fight with Jason scared up a few more), scaring up nearly 50 million in 1988, good enough to rank #19 for the year ahead of star vehicles like Tequila Sunrise and even the final Dirty Harry movie. That was the peak of Freddy's popularity, in fact - the merchandising machine was going full steam, he was coming off the 3rd (and still best) film Dream Warriors, the TV show was about to hit the air... good times. Also, on a personal level, I'm stoked to see it on the big screen, as I remember BEGGING my mother to take me to see it on that weekend in August, only to be turned down (though she rented it for me when it hit VHS that holiday season). After 25 years, I will finally have my revenge! TAKE THAT, MA!
Of course, as an 8 year old I never dreamed I'd be hosting my own shows someday, and I certainly wouldn't have though I'd get to sit up there and chat with some of the film's stars beforehand - but that's precisely what I'm doing! Actors Andras Jones (Rick), Toy Newkirk (Sheila), Rodney Eastman (Joey), Brooke Theiss (Debbie), Tuesday Knight (Kristen), and Lisa Wilcox (Alice) will be on hand for pre-movie Q&A (schedules permitting), which is nearly the ENTIRE cast of Elm Street kids from this entry! That is amazing!!!! Needless to say, it's going to be A. an awesome time and B. more than likely just as packed, if not more so, than it was for Friday 7, so get there on time for a good seat! I probably won't have any crappy DVDs to giveaway (save your tears) so we can spend more time talking to our honored guests Scream Factory has donated a few Blu-rays to give out, including Prison, the film that got Harlin the gig directing Nightmare 4! - so don't be late!
As always, the screening will be at the New Beverly Cinema at 7165 Beverly Blvd in Los Angeles, 90036 (two blocks west of La Brea). Street parking is plentiful, with Formosa being the best bet. Tickets are 8 bucks cash or card at the door, or in advance at BrownPaperTickets. I know it's usually not necessary, but they just went on sale today and 1/5th of them are gone, so I suspect this screening WILL sell out - keep an eye out here as I'll be updating with the count to let you know if you are about to miss out!
And check out the poster, inspired by the film's creepy opening sequence! It once again comes courtesy of the awesome Jacopo Tenani, who designs these posters and thus spares you all from my horrible Photoshop jobs. You can see more of his great art (including a really cool Suspiria piece) at his site HERE, and I highly urge you to do so! Send him some love if you can, and see you at the theater on August 17th!
Frankenstein's Army (2013)
JULY 31, 2013
GENRE: MAD SCIENTIST, MOCKUMENTARY
SOURCE: THEATRICAL (REGULAR SCREENING)
I talked to one of the FX guys behind Frankenstein's Army at last year's Comic Con, and got positively giddy about the movie's premise - a group of soldiers discover a bunker overrun with Nazi "Zombots" created by none other than Frankenstein himself. He showed me a few of the creatures, talked about a few others, gushed over Karel Roden as Frankenstein... but never once mentioned that the film, set in WWII, was a goddamn found footage movie. Even then, in 2012, I would have rolled my eyes a bit at the thought of yet another mock doc, but over a year later, having finally seen the film, it just really made me sad.
Obviously director (and a zillion other credits, including both "idea by" and "story by", which has to be a first) Richard Raaphorst couldn't have known how badly overrun the sub-genre would be by the time his movie saw release (it was shot in early 2012), but it WAS his responsibility to justify the approach within his narrative, and that is where he misses the mark. Even if you ignore the myriad anachronisms (sync sound on a color film camera that shoots 16:9 footage?) and laughable mistakes (the camera guy says he just loaded his last roll of film with 25 minutes of the movie left to go - and he also somehow loaded it while covered in blood and frightened out of his mind), there is never a point in the movie where I understood why it HAD to be presented in the first person format. Paranormal Activity, Blair Witch, Cloverfield... all of these films provided the excuse and maintained the necessary "meet me halfway" balance with the audience - ALL of em have their "Why are they filming?" parts and some suspension of disbelief with regards to battery power and tape, but this has NOTHING. Our guy mentions needing to document the trip in case their target isn't able to be captured alive, but why film so many of his fellow soldiers' conversations that he doesn't take part in, or stand in the middle of a battlefield (!) to film a shootout with an enemy troop? Why does he always helpfully pan back and forth between a monster and his comrades that are shooting at it (again, sometimes standing directly between them)?
And that's the biggest problem - the single camera (well, sort of - they also frequently cut to a different angle with no lapse in time) keeps the action at bay, and thus reduces the time we get to spend with the movie's incredible creatures. I didn't care much for the film, but I almost hope it's a huge hit just so they can justify an action figure line, as each creature is something I'd love to have on a shelf. As I described them in that Comic Con piece, they look like Bioshock's monsters mixed with something Clive Barker might come up with, and I was impressed at how they all had their own unique look, even though we didn't get to see them all that much. There are a couple of extended fight scenes (such as the one with Propeller-Head), but for the most part our camera guy will stumble across one of them while running around the bunker's hallways, focus on him for a second or two, and then turn and run the other way before we could even really tell what their "power" was. It started to feel more like a maze at Universal Horror Nights or something, where you'll find a room/monster that you wanted to just soak in and enjoy the design, but couldn't because you were being ushered through as quickly as possible. It's a good thing our sociopathic protagonist is a savant at running backwards through dark, unfamiliar areas, or else we would see them even less than we do. And they're all practical creations, best as I can tell, so it's not like they had to hide bad CGI or limit their rendering time or something - film the movie normally and show em off!
But if you do your best to ignore the found footage aspect, it's not too bad. Even in their limited screentime, the monsters still help make it one of the more visually interesting horror films in quite a while, and it's nice to see a WWII set horror film about a discovered bunker that wasn't based around psychological trauma or a supernatural presence. The cast is compact enough to keep everyone straight even with their limited character development (having trouble telling the soldiers apart is almost always a problem for me with these things), and it's certainly one of the faster paced entries in the war/horror genre (again, so many of them are based on psychologically-tinged elements, which translates to a slow burn affair). And Roden IS indeed a delight as Frankenstein, clearly having a ball spouting mad scientist nonsense and digging into brains and what not as he worked on new creations.
I also appreciated, on an admittedly weird level, that they didn't shy away from making our protagonists into assholes. One soldier kills a bunny for no reason, another orders a child to be used as bait (doesn't end well), and they laugh when a captured enemy soldier is killed. Usually I detest this sort of thing, but in a found footage movie (especially one where I'm basically only watching for the production design) I know everyone's gonna die anyway, so they might as well go for broke. And one guy who had a bit of a Michael Fassbender thing going on largely refrained from doing anything too dickish, so there's still someone to root for, sort of. It's not much of a surprise that there's a traitor among them, though then we're treated to yet another giant "guess we gotta go with it" moment, where the traitor explains why he needs to be kept alive, even protected by the others, or else the movie would end.
Look, I've certainly seen worse, is what I'm saying. I was constantly at odds with wanting to love the movie for its creatures and aesthetic, and getting angrier that it was yet another found footage movie where the filmmakers clearly had no interest in even trying to follow the "rules" of the format. Much like 3D, it's a tool that can be used very effectively, and its unfortunately fallen into the hands of those who just want to cash in on a trend without realizing that they're the ones that will ultimately kill it (again). Kind of a shame, but unlike the Amber Alerts or Absences of the world, at least this won't make you want to swear off the format forever.
What say you?
Blood Runs Cold (2011)
JULY 30, 2013
GENRE: SLASHER
SOURCE: DVD (OWN COLLECTION)
One of the most deplorable movies I watched over the past 6 years had to be Madness, a Wrong Turn/Texas Chainsaw ripoff from Sweden that featured, among other atrocities, a villain stomping on a pregnant woman's stomach. I don't mind extreme gore/violence when there's a point (see: Inside), but this was empty shock value built into a movie without a single original idea in its head. And had I remembered the names of the people who made it, I probably wouldn't have bothered with Blood Runs Cold, which is from the same team (albeit taking on different roles; two of the guys who co-directed Madness only produce here) and looked like a Cold Prey ripoff to boot. Luckily, my memory sucks, and while it's no classic, it proved to be a decent enough slasher, and a huge improvement over their previous feature.
Plus, it looks like Cold Prey 3 won't be coming to the US anytime soon, so this will have to do, as the killer looks almost exactly the same (snow hat, goggles, frostbitten mouth, etc) and could almost conceivably be worked into that series' mythos with little changes to the existing script (that it's from the Norwegian Cold Prey's neighbor is just a bonus). And while we've certainly seen a number of slasher/survival horror movies that have our heroes holing up inside of the killer's home, as they do here, this one gives a pretty funny/unique explanation for it - they thought it was the house they were SUPPOSED to be staying in! Taking a cue from European Vacation, a partially obscured house number causes the error, so our heroine and the old pals she meets up with in town spend the whole movie down the road from where they are supposed to be. It's actually kind of a chilling moment when she gets a text message from her manager asking where she is, that he's at the house and waiting for her.
Of course, for this to work, the killer's house has to be more or less normal - this scenario wouldn't work for say, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, with its furniture made from bones and human skin and what not. It's nice to know that not every movie killer has to live in squalor, though it's sort of disappointing that he still has an underground lair like his buddies - do they build the underground tunnels themselves, or just luck out on the real estate market? Anyway, it's that and a couple other touches that kept this one going, and since it's under 80 minutes I can't complain about it wasting much of my time or anything - that's not even enough time for 3 lives to replenish on Candy Crush.
I CAN complain about the fact that it takes a little while to get going (even factoring in that abbreviated runtime), and director Sonny Laguna rubs salt in that wound not once but twice. First, he starts at the end of the movie, showing what should be the "uh oh, the killer's not dead, see you in the sequel!" epilogue right off the bat, killing some of the suspense for no reason other than to get a kill in there. Second, and worse, when our first hero goes off and gets killed, it's off-screen! I don't mind an off-screen kill or two if they're going to use it for a surprise (i.e. without a scene of them walking into the dark and then we hear a THUD - just have someone find their body sans buildup), but when it's the first and we've been patiently waiting, it's a bummer. Luckily, the on-screen kills are practical and sufficiently gory (there's a great decapitation on the pure white snow), and I walked away impressed considering that the movie only cost 5,000 bucks.
Another red flag - as with Madness, they not only set the movie in North America for no reason (North Carolina this time) but have their very Swedish actors speaking heavily-accented English. I really don't get this one - they're obviously aware of Cold Prey, which did a pretty good job at landing US distribution despite the language barrier, so why not follow suit? It's a major distraction, and at no point do they make an effort to explain why this particular story would only work if set in North Carolina (a baffling choice to boot - why not Maine or Minnesota, locales KNOWN for isolated areas and extreme cold? North Carolina winters are typically pretty mild). Long stretches go without dialogue anyway, so it's a really dumb decision - if they're reading this, PLEASE just let your actors speak their native tongue from now on, and/or set your film IN Sweden instead of trying to pass it off as America.
Ironically, the film was picked up for distribution here by Bloody Disgusting's label, most of which is populated by foreign language films (Atrocious, Rammbock, Cold Fish, etc), so it didn't even help/hurt their chances. The DVD has a perfunctory making of and the trailer, the latter of which isn't necessary since there's not much to the movie beyond what you can tell from looking at the cover anyway. A rental to be sure, but if you're a slasher fan you'll get your Redbox money's worth, especially when you consider how dire most snowbound slasher films tend to be (Shredder, anyone?).
What say you?
AUGUST: New HBA Members..and Your Help!!
Jeremy [Retro]
Oh, No... Let's Go CRAZY!
HBA Curator
List of the Newest HBA Members:
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A - Andrew's Desk
http://andrewsaxsma.blogspot.com/
Andrew
C - The Cinema Monster
http://thecinemamonster.com/
Joseph
D - Dawning Horror
dawninghorror.blogspot.co.uk
Daniel
D - Doctor Havok's Haunt of Doom
www.doctorhavok.wordpress.com
Dr. Havok
E - E A Nash - Horror and Supernatural Fiction
eanash.wordpress.com
E A Nash
F - Film Dick
http://www.filmdick.net/
Film Dick
G - Gunsmoke and Ghouls
kevinhurtack.wordpress.com
Kevin
H - Halloween Love Blog
http://halloweenlove.com/
Black Orange
H - Hallow-Holics Anonymous
http://hallowholic.blogspot.com/
http://hallowholic.wordpress.com/
Ranranbolly
H - Horror Boom
http://www.horrorboom.com
Mrs. Horror Boom
J - Jordan and Eddie
www.jordanandeddie.wordpress.com
Jordan
L - Lasers, Monsters and Barbarians Oh, My!
http://scifihorrorfantasy.wordpress.com/
Mark
L - Lovecraft Reviews
http://lovecraftreviews.blogspot.com/
Rg Lovecraft
P - Popcorn Culture
jiffypopculture.blogspot.com
Brennan
S - Scariest Movies Online
http://scariestmoviesonline.com
Alex
W - Warden Stokely Horrorzine
wardenstokelyhorrorzine.blogspot.com
Warden Stokely
W - Weekend Horror!
http://weekendhorror.blogspot.com
Horror Queen
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