Storage 24 (2012)

MARCH 10, 2013

GENRE: ALIEN, MONSTER
SOURCE: BLU-RAY (OWN COLLECTION)

As of this writing, Storage 24 has the horrible distinction of being the lowest grossing film of the year and the second lowest (reported) grossing film OF ALL TIME per BoxOfficeMojo, with a horrible 72 dollar gross on the 1 screen it played on (which was in Chicago, if memory serves). So at the end of the year, people will make fun of it (as they did with last year's lowest grosser Playback, also from Magnet) and it will make for funny trivia, but few of the members of this peanut gallery will actually take the 85 minutes to actually watch the damn thing. And that's a shame, because it's actually a pretty enjoyable modern Alien ripoff, and better than most of the big-screen horror films that I've seen this year - anyone who thinks Last Exorcism 2 deserved more exposure than this needs their brain checked.

The worst thing about the movie is that it's not really doing anything new: a creatures escapes from its transport vessel (a military plane that crashed) and picks off a group of folks somewhere. It's been the plot of a zillion movies, but like a masked slasher movie, it's the details that separates the good from the bad. And I liked the little spins they put on such fare, starting with the titular location - a storage facility (one that is thankfully free from reality show crews). Our heroes are a recently separated couple and a couple of friends who are dividing up their possessions when the electricity goes off. Worse, the outside doors are sealed shut, trapping them inside with the creature. The alien wipes out the staff and an engineer sent to work on the electrical problems quickly enough, leaving our quintet to try to find a way out sans any guidance in the maze-like structure, and along the way meet a guy who lives in his storage unit in order to hide from his ex-wife. It's a fun little cast; at first I was a bit disappointed that pretty much everyone knew each other as opposed to a Precinct 13 style group of strangers, but it actually works to its advantage.

See, just as much as it is an "alien killing people" movie, it's also a redemption tale of sorts for its hero, played by co-writer/producer Noel Clarke. As the one who was recently dumped (this also explains his lack of a cell phone in a pretty hilarious way, as it's at the bottom of a river because "that's what happens when you get dumped over a phone"), he starts off the film as a whiny sadsack, more upset about his own little drama than the potential major loss of life in the plane crash. Honestly I thought they were setting him up to be the annoying buddy to the guy who would be our actual hero (Colin O'Donoghue, who I recognized from The Rite and thus pegged as the lead), but once everyone meets up and we find out a bit more about their breakup, Clarke gradually emerges as the true hero, shedding his selfishness and becoming the man that his ex dumped him for not being in the first place. It's not QUITE as great as Moses in Attack The Block, but I would put it in the same ballpark, thanks to the movie's other similarities (aliens, British folks, one location) and Clarke gives himself some pretty great lines throughout that helped make him even more endearing (plus he gets one final little dig at the ex that killed me), something that can annoy me in some movies written by a star, but here it actually worked (and he writes himself as an asshole for the first half anyway).

Now (minor spoilers), some infidelity comes into play, but what's interesting is that it's the guy who's been cheated on for a change; so many of these movies have the Final Girl's boyfriend be the guy cheating with one of her friends, which is never interesting to me - we know exactly how it will all play out since she's the damn Final Girl! But here, Clarke's girlfriend had been having an affair with one of the other folks, which allows for some actual suspense - will Clarke let the cheating woman who broke his heart die, or risk (lose?) his life to save her? In fact throughout the film I was never sure who would make it out alive and who was dead for sure, and that alone puts this above the average modern Alien wannabe. It's amazing what a little genuine suspense can do for your movie, not to mention finding the sweet spot between giving them real life problems but not making them hateful - not only can you sympathize with Clarke for being dumped/cheated on, you can also see his girlfriend's POV - he was boring her and clearly self-centered (nice little bit of underplayed dialogue - Clarke can't even remember how long they've been together), and she finally decided to break it off when it became clear he wasn't going to change. It works.

Oh, and it probably goes without saying since I liked the movie, but it's a practical creature! He's got some CGI enhancements in the mouth, and the kills are a blend that's hit or miss (the heart pulling is pretty bad, but the jaw removal is pretty good!), but when he's clawing through a wall or chasing someone (or, sigh, doing the Alien "in your face" thing that really needs to go away forever), you can enjoy a rubber flesh and blood creation with a guy inside the suit. Fittingly, this process is the focus of the blu-ray's longest bonus feature besides the feature commentary - a 20 minute look at the design, application, and execution of the suit, which Clarke says was partially inspired by Carnage from the Spider-Man comics. It's a pretty great piece, filled with interesting reveals (Clarke says he wishes the head was smaller, but understands that it's the director's call - a remarkable thing to hear from a screenwriter) and lots of footage of the poor bastard putting the suit on, which takes a timelapse sequence (with 4-5 folks doing the work) to show him getting on its entirety. The other featurettes are also pretty interesting since they cover things not often shown on horror movies like this, such as the costume and sound design.

The rest of the video supplements aren't that exciting; some video blogs and "day in the life" pieces are pretty fluffy (and hindered by obnoxious opening/closing titles), and the deleted scenes are mostly just alternated/extended takes of what we saw. The trailers are kind of interesting as they are mostly created to sell the film at various festivals and thus are longer and looser than a typical trailer - I'd welcome a bonus feature about the process of marketing these films at various festivals where everyone is competing for the same distribution. The commentary by Clarke and Roberts is a pretty enjoyable one; the two get along quite well and have a fun little chat about their movie, occasionally going off on tangents about superhero movies (Roberts is not a fan), the Alien comparisons, etc. Definitely a track worth listening to if you enjoyed the flick; if not then there's not much that will change your mind (other than proof that yes, they love Alien and wanted to pay homage to it).

A pal of mine was incredulous when I tweeted that I liked the film, and I remember similar pans when it hit theaters earlier this year (some folks had screeners, I guess), but I don't get the hate (a lot of folks I know also hated on director Johannes Roberts' previous film F - I quite liked that one, too). It doesn't do much new storywise, but it's got some personality, some endearing goofy touches (I can see the barking puppy toy being a turn off, but I thought it was hilarious), and an engaging everyman hero. Maybe it was because I just suffered through the 23058th "I'm not a hero! OK I guess I am" character arc in the dreadful Sam Raimi Oz movie (first Raimi film I actively disliked; I even considered walking out because I was so bored and knew how it would end up anyway since it was a prequel to the 1939 film), but I liked how the "hero's rise" was handled here, and found it a pretty enjoyable way to kill 85 minutes. It got the job done, and done well.

What say you?

Hold Your Breath (2012)

MARCH 9, 2013

GENRE: POSSESSION, SLASHER
SOURCE: DVD (STORE RENTAL)

I have a pretty good memory of sitting at the Highball in Austin during last year's Fantastic Fest, turning a press release for Hold Your Breath into a quickie edition of my weekly Collins Crypt article for BadassDigest. As it was The Asylum's first ever theatrical release, they were doing a Twitter contest to drum up some interest (I think you could win a role in one of their productions), and since I am a (mostly ironic) fan of their studio, I figured I'd kill two birds with one stone: throw them a bone and provide an article for the site since I was being lazy with my reviews.

Sadly, I never got a chance to see the film until now. It was only a theatrical release in the most technical sense of the term - the theaters it was put in were hardly the best, nor were there many of them, and if memory serves it didn't even show all day long. Plus it was gone after a week (a real release has a guarantee of two weeks), so I never found the time to see it as it came out around the same time as Screamfest which monopolized my time. Nor can I see if the experiment paid off - the grosses aren't reported on BoxOfficeMojo or IMDb, though I assume they would be pretty paltry. Hell, I'd even go so far as to guess no one in the country actually went to see it - there isn't a single IMDb message board post from an audience member, either (though there is a "user review" that seems very plant-y). Come on, if there's one person in the world who would have seen this for sure, it's me - the guy who saw all 5 Wrong Turns theatrically and drove an hour to see Haunting in Connecticut 2. So if even I missed it, all bets are off.

Anyway, the movie is fine for an Asylum flick. I don't know why they opted to go with this as a theatrical release; it's just as cheap-looking as their other movies, and some of them even boast bigger stars than Katrina Bowden, the one real name here (Randy Wayne shares above the title billing with her, but I've never heard of him; Wiki tells me he is best known for starring in the direct to video Dukes of Hazzard prequel). I would have gone with Zombie Apocalypse, personally - it's still their best movie and delivers for its intended audience. Hold Your Breath, on the other hand, tells an RL Stine level story (deceased murderer's soul jumps around between a group of partying teens) but with hard R flair - lots of nudity, a pretty gruesome dismemberment inspired by The Hitcher, etc. So it jumps between a movie you'd let your 13 year old daughter rent for a sleepover and one that you can almost imagine the MPAA enforcing cuts to keep it from being NC-17, making it a tough sell for any target audience.

But it's enjoyable enough, and keeps moving - I don't know if they couldn't secure any one location for long or if the screenwriter had ADD, but after a prologue and some intro stuff in LA, the group pokes around a prison for a while, then they go off to the lake where it seems they will stay and let the movie be the Friday the 13th/Shocker hybrid it wants to be, only to leave yet again and spend a lot of the 3rd act in a local's house and the woods surrounding it. There's no real main character; Bowden may have top billing but she's no "Final Girl" in any sense (a lengthy bit has her offering to blow one of the male characters if he sits in an electric chair, reminding him that she's great at it), and disappears for a good chunk to boot. Once he's introduced the local old guy becomes the lead (since he knows what's going on and has a history with the murderer), and I couldn't help but wish he was played by Bill Moseley or some other genre icon that would instantly tell us that he was someone to pay attention to. So the movie kind of lacks a focus or anyone to really identify with - however it DOES make it difficult to guess who will live or die, since the teens are equally anonymous. They pretty much all get a chance to play killer, too - the soul jumps whenever someone is hit hard enough to get winded, so while there's almost never any mystery as to who is currently possessed (we usually see the "soul" transferring), at least they keep mixing it up. Plus it creates drama; someone might be possessed but never get a chance to kill, only be a massive dick, so when they're not possessed anymore the others are still kind of pissed at them. Might even be funny to see a completely non-violent version of this story, where the soul isn't that of a killer but just some asshole who decides to use his powers to turn a bunch of friends on each other and ruin their weekend.

But alas, as mentioned, it's got some nasty kills, which don't really fit the PG-13 ghost story but were at least not overly digitized - the bisection was but even that had some real fake blood on hand, and the various eye gougings seem to be the work of prosthetics, not pixels. The ghosts also look pretty good; since this was most certainly not a big budget production they would have been forgiven for a pair of actors in front of a greenscreen so they could turn them slightly opaque and let them be the "ghosts", but instead we get two swirling, full blown CGI creations (I'm OK with CGI for ghosts, I should mention - it's mainly kills and humanoid creatures like werewolves and zombies where CGI drives me up a wall) battling it out in the woods, giving the climax a bit of unexpected flair (I figured it would come down to two people under suspicion of being possessed with a third party having to make the right choice with his one bullet). The biggest problem with a lot of Asylum movies is that they have these giant "end of the world" type ideas and not a tenth of the resources or money to pull it off properly, so it's nice to see them go smaller with the plot and work within their means while still delivering their unique brand of "let's get drunk and have fun watching this" entertainment.

Oddly, the film's theatrical nature isn't advertised anywhere on the DVD case or on the making of (and despite having a few legitimate quotes for a change, they still offer a fake one that touts its similarity to Urban Legend and Final Destination); you'd think they'd be proud of it to some degree. Nope, the making of is their standard five minute blend of the trailer and random behind the scenes clips, with a few interview snippets with the principal cast and the director. Oddly, Bowden is nowhere to be seen even in the BTS footage, and she's also absent from the 2 minute gag reel, which contains not one laugh. I can only assume that her agent demanded compensation for her likeness in these pieces and thus they just edited around her (except in the trailer clips) rather than pay up - it's a common issue that can lead to some creative editing. I remember when The Fifth Element PS1 game came out, it had film clips from the movie in between levels, but none of them featured Bruce Willis, even when presenting scenes that he was in! It's a bummer, but kudos to any editor that can pull it off and not let it be noticed by anyone but other editors.

You can also see the film's original title in these scenes: You Didn't Hold Your Breath. When it played theatrically, it went by #HoldYourBreath, which will hopefully end any attempt to tie Twitter into a film's actual name. Now it's just Hold Your Breath (or HoldYourBreath, no spaces but sans the hashtag, on the back of the DVD case), and that's probably what will stick as the film lives on in our hearts and minds (being facetious there; I've already forgotten most of it).

What say you?

Rocky Horror Show returns


Based on the 1975 British film, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Rocky Horror is a spoof on the 1950’s sci-fi horror films. The story is narrated by a criminologist (Mario Barboza) who, reading from a leather bound report titled, “The Denton Affair”, tells the tale of newly engaged couple, Brad Majors (played by Dan Porri) and Janet Weiss (Julie Hart), who find themselves lost and with a flat tire on a rainy, late November evening. Seeking a phone with which to call for help, the two knock on the door of a nearby castle and are swept into the bizarre world of Dr. Frank N Furter (Brian D. Fortin).

Rocky Horror is famous for its interactive elements and audience participation. With this in mind, the Warner Theatre Stage Company will have audience participation bags available for purchase before the show that will include: water guns, vinyl gloves, newspapers, finger flashlight, confetti and playing cards. Patrons will not be allowed to bring their own props into the performance.

Built by Warner Brothers Studios and opened in 1931 as a movie palace (1,772 seats), the Warner Theatre was described then as “Connecticut’s Most Beautiful Theatre.” Damaged extensively in a flood, the Warner was slated for demolition in the early 1980s until the non-profit Northwest Connecticut Association for the Arts (NCAA) was founded and purchased the theatre. The Warner reopened as a performing arts center in 1983, and restoration of the main lobbies and auditorium was completed in November 2002. In 2008, the new 50,000 square foot Carole and Ray Neag Performing Arts Center, which houses a 300 seat studio theatre, 200 seat restaurant and micro-brewery and expansive school for the arts, was completed.

Rocky Horror Show opens this weekend at the Warner

TORRINGTON — Back by popular demand! The Warner Stage Company’s celebrates Halloween with Rocky Horror Show October 15 - 29 at the Warner’s Nancy Marine Studio Theatre.

Based on the 1975 British film, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Rocky Horror is a spoof on the 1950’s sci-fi horror films. The story is narrated by a criminologist (Mario Barboza) who, reading from a leather bound report titled, “The Denton Affair”, tells the tale of newly engaged couple, Brad Majors (played by Dan Porri) and Janet Weiss (Julie Hart), who find themselves lost and with a flat tire on a rainy, late November evening. Seeking a phone with which to call for help, the two knock on the door of a nearby castle and are swept into the bizarre world of Dr. Frank N Furter (Brian D. Fortin).

Rocky Horror is famous for its interactive elements and audience participation. With this in mind, the Warner Theatre Stage Company will have audience participation bags available for purchase before the show that will include: water guns, vinyl gloves, newspapers, finger flashlight, confetti and playing cards. Patrons will not be allowed to bring their own props into the performance.

Heather Langenkamp will Appear in ‘Star Trek Into Darkness’

Heather Langenkamp, Nancy in the original A Nightmare on Elm Street, is making the rounds promoting her new doc I Am Nancy, and while talking to Horror News she mentioned that she’ll appear in J.J.Abrams’ Star Trek Into Darkness.
Here’s a bit from the interview:
Do you have any other projects in the works?
Well, I had the opportunity to play a small part in Star Trek, so I’m looking forward to that. I can’t tell you anything about that, but that was a thrill for me. My husband and I worked on the makeup effects for Star Trek. He designed some of them, so that’s the thing we’re looking forward to most. Hopefully we’ll be working on something else in January. We don’t know what that will be yet, but hopefully it’ll be a really fun job.
Did you catch the remake of Nightmare? If you have I’m sorry for you; if you haven’t, trust me, there’s better things to do with your eyes.

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